Blog Posts

Personal Update

I had half a post planned out a while ago, which I never ended up finishing. I’ll rework on it one day, because the point of that post was something that I would really love to talk about, and share with people. For the moment though, I feel as though I need to do a bit of a catch up and some planning.

So, I haven’t really posted anything in a while. Over a month. The half written and abandoned post was supposed to explain that I was no longer going to hold myself to the futile “two posts a week” thing that I was failing to do. I was going to try to aim instead for just one a week. Except it didn’t really end up working out that way.

While I would absolutely love to say that I’ve been busy working, and that is partially true. I have been going to work three days a week, which is about as much as I can do at the moment. When I get home, I simply feel really tired, and out of it, and it’s been taking pretty much all I have just to be doing something to try to help myself relax and de-stress after work. I’ve barely even been reading. Already I can pretty much guarantee my goal of reading a hundred books this year is unlikely to happen. I won’t say definitely not, though it’s not looking particularly probable at this point in time. So I’ve been working, and trying to de-stress after work. Unfortunately that means a lot of things have fallen by the wayside, including this blog.

The good news is that I at least have a few things I will start working on after this so that I can have some more posts to go up for the next couple of weeks at least. While I haven’t been reading much, there is a series I hadn’t quite started my review for yet, as well as one that I finished quite recently. On top of that I might branch out into doing more film reviews, as I saw both Battle Angel Alita and Captain Marvel in cinemas and there are definitely some interesting things to unpack from both of those.

In my previous post I mentioned that I’ve been doing a lot better because I have a job, and that wasn’t a lie. I am most definitely doing better than I was. That being said, it doesn’t mean I’m a hundred percent better. Part of me feels bad for only going to work three days a week, instead of five like everyone else. Especially when I know that I could, if I wanted to. I could push myself, and go to work those extra two days. Except it almost feels like those two days off are the only thing keeping me as together as I am at the moment.

Weekends are different. Especially when I find that my weekends lately have been filling up with things to do. Having a day which I can choose to dedicate to just lying in bed and zoning out from the outside world is crucial. It may not be something that many other people require or understand, but I do know that there are others out there who can relate. Others who push themselves to get through days they’re barely coping so they can make it to the day when they don’t have to.

So yes, I’m still doing better. I’m struggling, but doing a lot better than how I was without a job. I have a reason to wake up in the morning. Even though some days may be harder than others. I have money that I can spend on myself, and I’ve been putting money aside in my savings. I’ve been able to buy food that I enjoy eating, as well as books, games, and back projects on kickstarter that I believe in.

Everything takes time. Some people are able to jump into the freezing cold water, or immerse themselves in a steamy tub. Others need to go slowly and let themselves adapt. I just need to focus on adapting and getting comfortable, but I’ll try not to forget to post at least once a week from here on out.

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Blog Posts

Valentines Day

Ah, it’s fast approaching. The day where those who have someone special in their lives feel obliged to spend an entire day together while spending money on each other, while those who are single are reminded emphatically that they don’t have someone to share the day with. Which makes it no different to every other day of the year for them, but does have the downside of feeling personally attacked for not having someone to spend the day with.

You know, the day named after the matyr who married Christians in Rome, where they were persecuted. This guy died 1750 years ago. That’s… A long time. It’s weird how time work sometimes. We praise and acknowledge people who did such deeds so many years ago. A time when communication was almost impossible. Yet, today, someone does the same thing, where it can be spread to the rest of the world in a matter of seconds… We wouldn’t celebrate someone who did the exact same thing today.

I should probably get from delving too deeply into that rabbit hole today.

I don’t really have much to say about today. I mean, I could delve more into Valentines Day and how stupid this Hallmark Holiday is. Or I could discuss recent developments regarding my personal life (work… is it on the horizon?) The problem however, is that I am quite tired, and I have had a rather long day. I really should, as I keep telling myself, get on top of these things. Perhaps one day I’ll have a folder full of them, ready to be posted on a Tuesday and a Friday, so I can write things as they come to me, rather than feeling the need to necessarily sit down and write, and sometimes finding myself forgetting to do something.

Or, more likely, I’ll just continue to try to keep up with this rather inane self-imposed schedule. I mean, it’s not as though I have any regular readers. (Yet. I can hold out hope that one day I’ll get a comment at 12:01 on a Saturday morning, asking me where my book review is, and why I haven’t posted it yet.)
Maybe I should also try to focus this whole blog thing more than just a general word vomit of my thoughts and feelings one day a week, coupled with a review of a book/series that I finished recently. I’d love to post about my insights into the world of book publishing, but I’m not exactly there yet. Maybe I should try to do two book reviews a week instead of this random diary-esque stuff. Though with my current reading habits, there’s a chance I’d run out of books and series before too long. I’m struggling. I want to read. I have the time. It’s just hard sometimes. 😦

Best of luck for all you lonely hearters this Valentines day. I know how I’ll be spending it… Training, followed by some drinks with other single friends, possibly followed by playing DLC for a dating simulator with an ex… Riveting stuff, I know.

Books Books

Shadow of the Fox

Since I completely forgot to do a review last week, I’d love to do two this week. However, I haven’t really finished reading something new, and I’d rather save some more of the older series I’ve read for reviews when I haven’t read something recently. So, instead, I’ll just stick with the one I was planning to do last week.

The last OwlCrate I received had two books in it for me to read and enjoy. Because I have so so many books on my to be read pile, it’s taken me a while to get to just one of them. I’ll get to the other eventually this year, but for now, I recently decided to read one of them, and I was flailing around and so happy with it, so of course it’s going to be the next book I review.

Shadow of the Fox. Okay, it’s already got me with the name. The cover’s beautiful, with a hint of mystery and intrigue. Then I notice it’s by Julie Kagawa? Yep, already invested and sure that I’m going to love it.

I first found Julie Kagawa when I discovered Talon. The concept of dragons in human bodies, infiltrating our world? Beautiful. I loved it so much. Then I discovered her Iron Fey series. I’m a sucker for Fey. Especially a good story of them, which I found this to be. (Haven’t managed to track down the second part of that series though, sadly, so I feel as though I’m left with an itch that needs to be scratched).

I know with my previous review, Girls of Paper and Fire I spent a lot of time happily ranting about the romantic storyline, and how much I loved it, and the representation it offered. I don’t think I went as deeply into how much I loved the Malaysian representation. (Which I did, very much.) I am a huge sucker for diversity. Well, not a sucker. I wouldn’t say that you could write any old thing and have it be diverse and I’d be all for it. That being said, I do generally find myself very excited when I pick up something that’s popular and has a non-caucasian, or non-straight main character. It gets me excited. Needless to say, I was very happy when I found that this book was set in a very Japanese-styled world.

So, sidenote here, I’m a total weeb. I love anime. Not even slightly ashamed to say it. Which may have sealed the fate of my enjoyment of this story. I loved the casual mix-ins of Japanese and English. The writing is in English, but there are small phrases here and there which are Japanese, much as the culture of the world is based on Japan. From kitsune to samurais. The small “arigatou’s” and using “ano” as well or instead of “um” made me strangely happy.

Of course, Japapnese culture is so much more than the language. The lore in the world was absolutely beautiful. Being a huge fan of kitsunes before now, (what’s not to love about mysterious foxes?) having a main character as one was wonderful. What was even better, was how Kagawa managed to stay true to the myths. It can be all too easy to say you like the mischievousness of something, like Fey, dragons, or kitsune, only to cut it out or cool it down because it makes characters less sympathetic to readers.

Yumeko was incredibly sympathetic. That she was raised by monks who tried to encourage her humanity, compared to her natural curiousness and desire to play tricks on people, created a wonderful contrast between those two sides of her. What was even better? Not only were there moments of introspection where she fought against pulling tricks, but she actually pulled tricks.

I loved it so so much. The story was wonderful, the characters had a lot of depth to them and I found them very believable. The world was absolutely beautiful.

I will absolutely most definitely be reading this series again at one point. Though, one thing I will say, which absolutely does not detract in any way from my love of the book, is that I can draw some correlation between Kagawa’s works. To be fair, I mostly only noticed this earlier, and specifically while I was writing this review. I did notice the similarity between her choice in protagonists (typically mischievous non-human species. Although Meghan did start out as human). Then her love interest seems to be rather uptight, drilled into a certain way of life which is very contrary to the female protagonist. Finally, there’s an interesting and funny side character who has some of the more interesting lines at points as they don’t have as much invested in whatever quest the protagonist and love interest are on, but come along anyway. It’s a small thing, and by no means suggests that the stories are the same, though sometimes I enjoy noticing little similarities in an author’s work. It tells you so much about the author themselves.

Blog Posts

No, Really, Need to Work

I can’t believe I forgot to do my review on Friday. I fully intended to. I’d read an amazing book, and had written part of my review out (in my head, at least) already. Then it came to Friday, and… I don’t even think I was that busy, so much as it just didn’t really end up happening. Although, I do think that I did have a few things on.

Realistically though, the main reason I didn’t write it up and post it is the same reason it’s taken me until almost 7pm today to start my blog, despite trying to prod myself most of the day to do it. I am not doing so well right now.

I mentioned last week how I really want a job. It’s not even just want. I need a job. Not just for the money. Though the money would be great. I don’t know how many of you have ever had to live off of Centrelink, but for your sake, I hope it was long enough ago that the allowance was at least livable. It’s funny how the government’s always happy to increase costs and prices and taxes, but they’re not happy to raise things like wages and pensions. Let’s be realistic, we’re not asking for that much. All we’re really asking for is enough to be able to live off of. Centrelink isn’t the reason for this blog, however.

I am… Not doing so great at the moment. And there are quite a lot of things that are contributing to this, of course, but let’s break it down, shall we?

– I’ve been ignoring my 8am alarm, to instead sleep through and wake up randomly throughout the day. This could be 9am, 10am, 11am… The other day it was a little after midday. If I don’t have anything to do on a day, there’s no reason for me to get up. So, instead of getting up, I lie in bed, and try to go back to sleep. Getting to sleep, and getting back to sleep, are quite hard tasks for me. For the most part, this is just me being awake, and not acknowledging it until I give up.

Having a job would give me something to do on a day. It would give me a reason to wake up of a morning. Even those mornings where I didn’t have to work, I’d feel inspired to get out of bed to spend time with my friends, to relax, to do the fun things that I’m not really finding fun right now because it’s all I can do.

– I barely leave the house. To be fair, having a job will (for the most part) only increase the time I’m out of the house to the time I’m working. That being said, having more money will likely also increase the amount of things I can do with friends, and further increase the time I don’t spend at home.

– My room is a mess. Okay, so this isn’t exactly something that having a job would fix. At least, not directly. The main reason my room is a mess is because I’m a mess. If I start getting better, I’ll be more inspired to keep my room tidy(ish) and organised. Then there’s the other thing which I’ll get to in a moment which would also be beneficial in this regard about getting a job.

– My Grandad (whom I live with) drives me crazy. I love him. I don’t know what I’d do without him in my life. But spending every day with him, he can get on my nerves. It won’t be immediate, but when I get a job I’ll be able to afford to move out. (At the moment I’m missing the whole bond, and first month’s rent thing that most places ask for, so it’s more or less impossible.)

Now, if I got my own place, or at least found a place with a friend/some friends or some new housemates, there are quite a few things that would change. I wouldn’t feel like I can barely leave my room. Another big thing would be that my room would be bigger. Calling the room I spend 99% of my time in at the moment a shoe box would be an insult to larger shoe boxes.

I’d also be able to interact with more people. Anyone I happen to move in with, and of course anyone I’d be working with. If you’ve ever spent too much time with one person, you’ll know how exciting it can be to spend time with someone different.

Don’t get me wrong. I know that having a job is a lot of work. I know that in my current mental state, it’s going to take a lot to get through things. That being said, having a reason to get out of bed will be a big improvement. Getting out of the house will be an improvement. Other things, I’ll be able to work on. I just need someone to give me a start, so I can start my recovery.

Blog Posts

Need to Work

I would very much like a job. I really would. I would like to have something to do with my time. That’s one of the things about depression, or at least with my depression. Not having something to do makes it worse. Holidays are something entirely different. Not having to do something is entirely different to not having something to do. Isn’t it funny how a simple rearrangement of words can change the meaning entirely?

Depression and anxiety are things that affect different people differently. In one of my recent blogs I talked about how everyone should take advice with a grain of salt. What works great for someone else won’t necessarily work well for them. And I cannot stress enough how important that is to keep in mind. I am not currently seeing a psych, and one of my main reasons for that is that I haven’t found the right one for me yet. The ones I have found have mostly tried me on CBT. Cognitive Behavioural Treatment is one of the big trends in psychology at the moment. It’s hardly the be all and end all, and it’s definitely not for me.

A lot of CBT is about recognising your behaviour, and trying to change it, or change how you see it. Maybe if I weren’t already hyper aware about every little thing I do, it might have helped me? Or maybe I just don’t have the right mindset to get behind it. Either way, it hasn’t worked for me, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to tell people not to try it. (Nor will I say that if you haven’t already tried it you should definitely try it. It’s not for everyone, and you should seriously take some time to think about whether or not it’s right for you, or you think it might be beneficial to you, before you try it or not.)

I’m already rambling and getting off track. It’s a good thing I’m currently trying to keep this as a personal opinion and experience blog rather than something overly political or professional. I mean, hey, maybe if I upped my game and made really professional posts I could woo in potential employers. Well, unlikely with my meagre reach, although perhaps people might be more inclined to share it.

Though, again, not what I’m trying to get at. Which goes to show how bad my mental state is at the moment. I’m an absolute mess. Why? Because trying to find employment is incredibly stressful and depressing.

It doesn’t help that I’ve got restrictions. There are some things that I know I just won’t be able to do, thanks to my anxiety limiting me. I could never work in retail, for one, when I know just how stressful those jobs can be. Nor could I do something with high KPI requirements, or that’s extremely commission based. There are other people out there who can take on those jobs, who won’t burst into tears at a raised voice when someone isn’t 100% happy and decides to take it out on a retail worker. Someone who won’t panic and feel their throat closing up when they realise they need to make ten more sales in order to just keep their job. Who won’t spend their break picking at their skin, their nails, or pulling their hair, because they’re just not sure that they’re doing well enough that week to make rent.

There are jobs out there that I know I could do. I would like to think that I’m a great writer. I’m quite a good communicator. I’m a very pleasant person. As much as I’d be incredibly nervous to go to an interview right now, I’d love at least that chance to put myself forward, to prove to employers that I can do what they’re asking. That I’m capable, and a quick learner, and that it wouldn’t take much for me to be able to fit in to almost any work place.

Instead I am just applying for jobs, left right and centre, and finding myself sick to the stomach every time I get a new email from Seek telling me that my application with such and such a company won’t progress. It certainly doesn’t help that there’s no reason for the companies to tell me why my application won’t progress. They don’t need to take time out of their day to tell me that I’m the most inexperienced candidate they had, that they just weren’t quite sure about me from my resume, that they felt I might be bored in the role with my qualification.

I mean, I can hardly expect them to. What Seek does offer, are some insights to the jobs I applied for. It shows me how many people applied, how many attached a resume, and how many attached a cover letter.

I’m one of those who attaches both. I try to tailor my cover letter, because I genuinely want every job I apply for. I don’t see the point in applying for one that I’m not interested in. I know many people (particularly those who fill the 1% who don’t attach resumes, or the larger 20~% who don’t attach cover letters) are only applying for those jobs because they have to. I am not one of those. I want employment. I want to work. To do something with my life. I don’t want to just skate by on Centrelink. Even if I didn’t want to have something to do with my time, I would want work for nothing more than to be able to have some actual money that I could spend.

So, I look through my emails, and I see: 205 people applied. 115 matched all the employers requirements. (I did not, because I had no experience in such a role). 844 applied. 62% attached a cover letter. (No experience preference listed for which I was explicitly rejected.) 203 candidates applied. 65% attached cover letters. 175 people matched all the employer’s criteria. (I also matched their criteria. No rejection for lack of experience here. At least, not explicitly.)

23 candidates applied for the role. Only 6 matched the employers criteria. I did not, because I have no experience in the publishing industry, and apparently didn’t hit their “magic number” for salary expectation. (Is it bad that I honestly have no idea what to expect? At this point, I don’t care. Pay me enough for me to have a roof over my head that doesn’t leak, food for myself and my cat, with enough left over to pay bills. I haven’t had a job before, “salary” means very little to me.)

The most positive response I’ve had recently unfortunately ended up being something that was just impossible for me to achieve at the moment. I got through the first few tests to be a captioner with a company, only to reach the hurdle of the interview. I would have loved to attend, if only I would be able to get to Melbourne by the morning of two days after I was told I had the interview. Getting a flight to Melbourne would have been doable (barely). Accommodation when I got there on such short notice? A fair bit less so. Long term accommodation should I have done well in the interview and gotten the job? Doable, but fiddly on, again, such short notice. Flight back up if I didn’t do so well in the interview? Not so doable. I had to think long and hard about it on Monday when I found out I had gotten the interview. It would have been a great opportunity that I would have loved to go for. Unfortunately, given I currently have a grand total of $300 in my savings, because for those of you who aren’t aware, it is very hard to save when you’re on Centrelink, it wasn’t really worth going down for the interview. Given I couldn’t do it over the phone for whatever reason (I asked, they said they had something that “had to be done in person”) and I would have been reliant on the interview working out to make it possible for me to even temporarily move down to Melbourne, I had to turn it down.

So, yes, I’m not in the best of headspaces right now. Each rejection hurts, and given I have to keep applying for jobs, both to keep being paid by Centrelink, and to potentially get hired by one of the many jobs I’m applying for, I am not likely to be in a good headspace any time soon. I wanted to look into more of the factors that make it really hard for people to get jobs, but this ended up being a very rambling and personal story. It did however get across one of the points that I wanted to make, which is just how many people are applying for jobs. With companies being overwhelmed by so many applications, it’s inevitable that a lot of people have to lose out. It just hurts that I don’t even make it as far as getting to sell myself in person with an interview. That, and not getting feedback really brings me down. I try to put my best self forward, only to be turned down without explanation. Of course, I can hardly blame companies like the one that likely rejected hundreds of applicants and weeded down to a couple of dozen of the most qualified for the interview process. Just because I can’t blame them doesn’t mean it helps my mental state, however.

Blog Posts

The Best a Man Can Get

I’m hardly the first person on the internet to talk about the Gillette commercial. It seems to be quite a popular topic at the moment, and for good reason. As far as commercials go, it’s quite a weighty one, and it has a message to send the world that stands out far stronger than simply asking people to buy their product.

Now, there’s quite a lot to unpack in this commercial, so I’ll start from the beginning.

Bullying.

The “Me Too” movement.

Sexual harassment

Toxic masculinity.

“Is this the best a man can get?”

The commercial starts with buzz words that are incredibly topical for the world at the moment. These are all big problems that people face in the world today.

I was bullied throughout most of my school life. Halfway through grade 2, I moved schools because I was being bullied. It was stupid stuff. It always is in primary school. All because my last name was McDougall and I was chubby. I remember they called me “Marlee McDonalds.” So creative, I know. That didn’t mean that it didn’t have an effect on me.

Being bullied is hard. Particularly when you’re young. You don’t know why it’s happening to you, and you have no methods to deal with it. It can be hard to talk about it to other people, be it older kids, parents, or teachers. And when it’s over something as silly as that? There’s not much a teacher can do. “Stop calling each other names.” But there wasn’t much in the way of reinforcement. Not when I went to primary school. Just telling me to ignore the people who called me that.

I don’t remember much bullying happening in my second school. I don’t remember much about that school at all, really, except that I would frequent the library. Already I would retreat into books to escape what felt like an unfair reality. No bullying, perhaps, but I didn’t exactly make any wonderful life long friends that I can remember. I was already isolating myself from other people even that young.

My third school I remember a bit more clearly, and there was more bullying here. It’s never helpful being the new kid at school. It also didn’t help that I was the new kid who frequented the library and made friends with teachers. I did manage to make some good life long friends at this school. Though I can vividly remember one incident where a friend of mine was being bullied because she was my friend. Student council elections were coming up, and one of my friends was going up against one of the “popular” girls (a bully, with her bully friends). The other candidate made sure to point out that she was friends with me, and that therefore the other students shouldn’t vote for her. Of course, this was all on the playground, out of teachers’ earshot.

Although I wasn’t aware of it then, I know now that even in primary school I had anxiety. There was one time when a particularly antagonistic girl was annoying me in class, and I gave up trying to ignore her and confronted her instead. The teacher saw this, and sent the girl to see the principal. When she came back, she told me that the principal wanted to see me after school.

So, dutifully, I sat outside waiting to see the principal after school. I knew that my Mum would be coming to pick me up that day, so at least I didn’t have to worry that I was missing the bus. But as I sat there, wondering why I was in trouble, and how much trouble I was going to be in, I started to panic, and it was quite a while later when another teacher saw me waiting there, crying. She asked me what the problem was, and went in to see the Principal for me, only to come out and tell me that the Principal had never wanted to see me in the first place. Stupid, and petty, I know. Childish, would be the word for it. And when you’re a child, even silly little things like that can have a big impact.

High school didn’t exactly lessen the bullying. I went to the same high school as most of the people from my third primary school. I managed to make a few more good friends there at least, and I managed to find myself slightly more equipped to deal with things by this point. Of course, by this point, I’d been bullied for so long that I just ignored it. There was never anything physical, or anything too bad. It was all still so childish and stupid. What would the teachers care if such and such called me fat?

The “Me Too” movement and sexual harassment can come under the same banner for the most part. I know so many people who have their “Me Too” stories. I even have some of my own. My own may not be as bad as many other people’s, but they’re still there. Some of these stories are big. I have friends who have been raped, or otherwise sexually harassed. Others may seem smaller, people not accepting “no” for an answer so easily. People taking advantage of younger people because they don’t know better. People pushing others into things even though they’re uncertain about it.

I say people here for a reason. Girls aren’t the only ones with “Me Too” stories. Just as boys aren’t the only ones who bully. Though, that’s neither the purpose of the ad, nor my blog.

Toxic masculinity. The best example I can come up with for this are those who are reacting negatively to the commercial. It’s much like the “Boys will be boys.” It’s a mentality that has been drilled into us. A boy pulls on a girls hair because he likes her. A man who is weak is “girlish”. A man can’t get a manicure or a pedicure. Real men don’t cry.

One of the most poignant comments I’ve seen about the commercial is how men are reacting poorly to being told to act in a certain way, when that’s almost all women’s commercials ever do. We’re told we can’t have body hair, or that we can’t be too fat or too thin. If we don’t show off our bodies something’s wrong with us, but if we do we’re whores. That’s just what toxic masculinity is, too though. Men are told how they have to act. They have to stand tall, and be strong. They need to be smarter and stronger than girls. The biggest insult to them is to be called a girl.

Personally, I think the commercial is brilliant. It’s making a stand. It’s stating that Gillette is firmly against bullying, sexual harassment, and toxic masculinity. The commercial isn’t demanding that men stop being who they are. All it’s asking is that they understand that the world is progressing forward, and that people (in this case men) aught to do so also. It challenges men to be “The Best a Man Can Get” by breaking the habits that have been formed over so many generations. By standing up for what’s right, and against something you know to be wrong.

Something so many people don’t seem to understand is that the ad isn’t calling men bad. It’s simply stating that these are problems that exist in the world. It’s not saying that all men bully, and rape, and are involved in the spread of toxic masculinity. What it is saying is that Gillette doesn’t support that. It’s saying that standing by when you see something not right, and allowing it to continue, is also wrong.

No, men aren’t the only problem. Nor is it saying that all men are part of the problem. But every small intervention can help.

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Advice on Advice

No two people are exactly alike. What works well for one person, won’t necessarily work well for you, or for someone else. There might be times when you’re given advice and when trying it out it works well for you. That does not mean you always need to try advice from that person, or similar seeming advice if you don’t feel comfortable with it.

I have been seeing a lot about Marie Kondo lately. Mostly on some book lovers pages I’m on on facebook, which is usually focused on her advice to ideally keep less than thirty books. This advice is definitely not for everyone. I know that I, for one, would be absolutely unable to cull my library down to only thirty books. Especially if I go by her other advice of “keep it if it sparks joy.”

This blog post isn’t going to be about Marie Kondo. At least, not entirely. My point today is that advice that works for someone else might not necessarily work for you, and there will be times you will have to accept that, and work things out for yourself. For example, I can’t take Marie Kondo’s advice, because to me, having my collections of books, DVDs, games, and plushies? They make me happy. Each one makes me happy. I will rewatch the DVDs, I will reread the books, I will replay the games, and I will find comfort in my plushies.

I could give you advice which I have worked out for myself over my life. Do what makes you happy. Work hard on your studies. Always have a book to read. Don’t be afraid to leave people behind in your life if they don’t make you happy. Always live with a pet. These are things that I have found which work for me. I am in no way saying that they will work for you.

Then there are times when you’ve found advice that works for you, but it might be hard to enact. For example, I should always wear sunscreen when I’m going to be outside for more than ten minutes. I just burn up in the sun. The other day I was out with some friends, and sitting under the shade, and I did indeed put sunscreen on after a little while. I still got burned. Often it’s a case of me forgetting to put it on, or there not being sunscreen available. In this case I mustn’t have gotten it on quick enough. Some people might think “always have sunscreen in your bag” would be a great way to remedy at least part of that, so I always have it with me when I need it, however my anxiety prevents me from doing so, because I’m absolutely certain it would leak, and there would be sunscreen throughout my bag. (I can’t even put a bottle of liquid in there for the same reason. Especially not if it’s cold. Condensation would just ruin the books I have in my bag!)

I cannot stress enough that the same advice will not necessarily work for two different people. Let’s look at advice like medication. There are plenty of different types and brands, for different diseases. You might take some cough medicine one day, to find that your cough is fixed perfectly. That doesn’t mean you should recommend it to someone with chicken pox. Or to look at the same metaphor in a different way: two people may have depression. One pill might work for one of them, though that doesn’t mean the same pill is going to work for the other person as well.

Decluttering can be great, and I do need to get into my stuff and declutter. I am even going through my books and choosing some to give up, as hard as that may be to believe. I’m not going to follow Marie Kondo’s advice for doing so, however. I’m simply going to go through in my own little way and go through things that I don’t or won’t use or wear in the immediate future.

I would call it Spring Cleaning, but it’s a bit late for that, with it being the exact middle of Summer right now more or less. I wish luck to anyone else who might be going through the same, and my advice of: Don’t just follow every bit of advice you hear. Work things out for yourself, and find what works for you.