Books Books

Girls of Paper and Fire

Like the vast majority of my book purchases, I came across Girls of Paper and Fire in QBD when I was randomly looking through the YA section for anything that might happen to take my fancy. The title and the cover drew me in, then I was sold when I read the blurb. Due to some enthusiasm on my part, as well as understanding, this review does contain a couple of minor spoilers. If you don’t wish to be spoiled, I recommend you read the book first.

Is it just me or is the whole “Royal Male Figure” gets what’s basically a harem a popular genre at the moment? Okay, it might just be me. But then, there’s The Selection series, which has the Prince in what’s essentially a The Bachelor situation, picking from a… well, a selection of pretty girls. Then there was Grace and Fury, a fantastic book that came in one of my OwlCrates (before I had to give it up ;_;) where the ruler, or in this case his heir, had a similar selection from a bunch of girls preened and polished to take on the role, to select three women for his wives/consorts. Then Girls of Paper and Fire… Okay, yeah, sure, it’s no Twilight, Vampire Diaries, Vampire Academy, The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod, Evernight, House of Night, Cirque Du Freak, etc. Vampire craze, but maybe I’m not crazy in seeing a pattern here.

Beyond the blurb, I wasn’t really sure what to expect from Girls of Paper and Fire when I first opened it up. Until I read the Author’s Note at the beginning. That Author’s Note made me desperately want to find Natasha Ngan and give her the biggest hug I could (if she wanted one).

I am so thankful for the existence of this book, and that it was apparently in one of the latest OwlCrate editions. (Sad I missed out on it through them, though it’s even more evidence that the OwlCrate people and I have a shared excellent taste!)

Ngan wrote this book because she knows that everyone deserves to have their story told. That’s how a gay Malaysian girl who had to deal with rape and abuse came to have her story told. (I am talking about Lei. I have no idea if Ngan is gay and has had to deal with rape and abuse, though all the more reason to hug her if she has.)

Lei was a wonderful character who I found myself feeling deeply for very quickly. Smart and strong, I found my heart breaking at her situation, even more so when we got to further know Wren, and Wren’s situation.

The world was immersive. I found myself vividly picturing the Moon and Steel caste walking around. From bird demons to wolf demons, and the bull Demon King, I could easily envision them as a part of the world, looking down on mere humans for not having the same abilities as them.

The story was absolutely stunning. I was cheering for Lei as she stood up against oppression every chance she got, and found myself saddened when she was kicked back down by those who are on top. The love story had me cheering (in so many ways. I cannot stress enough how much seeing a gay love story happen without very clear signposting on the book makes me happy.)

The characters were truly wonderful. From Lei, who stood up when she could, to the spoiled Bull King who played with his toys. Of course there’s Wren, strong, determined Wren. But mostly I found myself loving Ngan’s depiction of Aoki, if for no other reason than the truthful depiction of how not everyone who’s abused sees it that way. They can often overlook the bad times and think of the good. That, and her being the youngest of the girls being the one to see the King as kind makes the most sense, as when we’re younger we’re more eager to look for love in the wrong places, and see the tiniest things as signs of something better.

I cannot possibly recommend this book enough. It enraptured me, and as a lover of diversity in YA I want to throw it at as many people as possible to make them read it. That being said, it does deal with some very heavy topics, particularly rape and abuse, and I can understand that not everyone can handle such things. If you are one of those who can handle it, I highly recommend Girls of Paper and Fire, and I hope you find yourself as drawn in to Ngan’s world as I was.

I will most certainly be reading this again at some stage. Likely before the next one comes out. (If there’s not going to be a next one, I will protest quite vigorously!)

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My Mind Won’t Change

“You’ll change your mind.”

I am sick and tired of hearing that phrase. Thankfully, there’s only one person in my life who says it to me with any regularity. Unfortunately that regularity is “every time I see them.” I know that I am not the only one dealing with such people, and that I am honestly lucky to only have the one person openly saying that I don’t know what I want to my face. Plenty of other people have to face the same or worse.

For one thing, I’m not trans. There are so many horror stories out there of trans men and women who aren’t accepted by their family. They’re being told that they’re “just going through a phase”. Some are lucky enough to have supportive people in their life, but not everyone is that lucky.

No, what my Stepdad thinks I’ll change my mind about is that I don’t want to have kids. In his mind, every woman must want to reproduce. To settle down with a husband, and have kids. That’s what life is about. Then again, he also can’t understand how lesbians get by because “everyone needs a good dicking” (and no, he fails to see the irony when I point out how he thinks gay guys are unnatural).

I don’t want children. The idea of being pregnant and putting my body through all of that horrifies me. I don’t just mean the childbirth part, either. That would be nine months of my hormones being more messed up than they already are. I’m barely keeping together as it is, I don’t want to even think about what that would do to me mentally.

Then there’s the fact that I’m currently unemployed, and very much single. I’m hoping to fix the first part. Ideally, I’d like to be employed quite soon. Being on Centrelink doesn’t exactly do much for my mental health either. That being said, it’s a lot easier said than done. As for the second part, I really don’t know.

I’ve tried to be in relationships before. I don’t know that it’s for me. Yet another thing my Stepdad would never accept as a life choice. Just as clearly I’ll change my mind and want kids, I just haven’t met the right guy yet. Yeah, right.

A lot of people my age don’t want kids. There are plenty of examples out there for the curious mind to explain why. The truth of the matter? When you get right down to it, we just simply don’t want kids. An absolutely mind blowing thought, I know.

It’s one that’s so hard for a lot of people to accept. The problem is, it’s hard for a lot of people to understand that not everyone has the same desires as them. Some people want to do the best they can in their jobs, and have high goals set for themselves to achieve. Other people honestly just want to get by, and live peacefully. Similarly, some people want to have kids, and other people just… don’t.

Just as there are many people in the world who don’t want kids, there are still plenty out there who do. If everyone wanted to have kids, and did so, the world would be a very bleak place with a vast population problem. Honestly, it’s bad enough as it is.

I am 26 years old. I’m not a teenager, or a child. People accept (by now. At least partially) that I want to be a writer and editor. Something I have been talking about since I was in high school. Why is it still so hard for some people to accept that I don’t want kids? I think I know my own mind a bit better than they do.