Blog Posts

No, Really, Need to Work

I can’t believe I forgot to do my review on Friday. I fully intended to. I’d read an amazing book, and had written part of my review out (in my head, at least) already. Then it came to Friday, and… I don’t even think I was that busy, so much as it just didn’t really end up happening. Although, I do think that I did have a few things on.

Realistically though, the main reason I didn’t write it up and post it is the same reason it’s taken me until almost 7pm today to start my blog, despite trying to prod myself most of the day to do it. I am not doing so well right now.

I mentioned last week how I really want a job. It’s not even just want. I need a job. Not just for the money. Though the money would be great. I don’t know how many of you have ever had to live off of Centrelink, but for your sake, I hope it was long enough ago that the allowance was at least livable. It’s funny how the government’s always happy to increase costs and prices and taxes, but they’re not happy to raise things like wages and pensions. Let’s be realistic, we’re not asking for that much. All we’re really asking for is enough to be able to live off of. Centrelink isn’t the reason for this blog, however.

I am… Not doing so great at the moment. And there are quite a lot of things that are contributing to this, of course, but let’s break it down, shall we?

– I’ve been ignoring my 8am alarm, to instead sleep through and wake up randomly throughout the day. This could be 9am, 10am, 11am… The other day it was a little after midday. If I don’t have anything to do on a day, there’s no reason for me to get up. So, instead of getting up, I lie in bed, and try to go back to sleep. Getting to sleep, and getting back to sleep, are quite hard tasks for me. For the most part, this is just me being awake, and not acknowledging it until I give up.

Having a job would give me something to do on a day. It would give me a reason to wake up of a morning. Even those mornings where I didn’t have to work, I’d feel inspired to get out of bed to spend time with my friends, to relax, to do the fun things that I’m not really finding fun right now because it’s all I can do.

– I barely leave the house. To be fair, having a job will (for the most part) only increase the time I’m out of the house to the time I’m working. That being said, having more money will likely also increase the amount of things I can do with friends, and further increase the time I don’t spend at home.

– My room is a mess. Okay, so this isn’t exactly something that having a job would fix. At least, not directly. The main reason my room is a mess is because I’m a mess. If I start getting better, I’ll be more inspired to keep my room tidy(ish) and organised. Then there’s the other thing which I’ll get to in a moment which would also be beneficial in this regard about getting a job.

– My Grandad (whom I live with) drives me crazy. I love him. I don’t know what I’d do without him in my life. But spending every day with him, he can get on my nerves. It won’t be immediate, but when I get a job I’ll be able to afford to move out. (At the moment I’m missing the whole bond, and first month’s rent thing that most places ask for, so it’s more or less impossible.)

Now, if I got my own place, or at least found a place with a friend/some friends or some new housemates, there are quite a few things that would change. I wouldn’t feel like I can barely leave my room. Another big thing would be that my room would be bigger. Calling the room I spend 99% of my time in at the moment a shoe box would be an insult to larger shoe boxes.

I’d also be able to interact with more people. Anyone I happen to move in with, and of course anyone I’d be working with. If you’ve ever spent too much time with one person, you’ll know how exciting it can be to spend time with someone different.

Don’t get me wrong. I know that having a job is a lot of work. I know that in my current mental state, it’s going to take a lot to get through things. That being said, having a reason to get out of bed will be a big improvement. Getting out of the house will be an improvement. Other things, I’ll be able to work on. I just need someone to give me a start, so I can start my recovery.

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Blog Posts

Welcome to October

It’s coming into October, my favourite month of the year. Ever since I was a child, I have always loved Halloween. Imagine my disappointment to have been born in Australia, one of the few big Western nations that doesn’t particularly celebrate Halloween. Naturally, all the Australia’s love for all things American when it comes to TV just made everything worse. After all, is an American TV show without a Halloween special actually an American TV show? I don’t think so.

Don’t get me wrong, Halloween not being overly celebrated in Australia never stopped me from trick-or-treating. My Mum and Nana would help me with a costume, and then my god-sisters and myself would walk around my Nana and Grandad’s neighbourhood. I have no idea how Americans always seem to have pillowcases filled with candy by the time they walk around a neighbourhood. I mean, sure, perhaps the neighbourhood I would walk around wasn’t quite as big as the American neighbourhoods, but that wasn’t the real problem. The problem was that no one was prepared for trick-or-treaters to come around. Not when I was growing up. Well, no one is an overstatement. A few people had some candy or chocolate bars. The vast majority, however, would just shrug and say “Oh, it’s Halloween? Sorry, I don’t have anything for you.” A couple of people were really nice, and they would give us two dollar coins instead.

The world is changing, and I like the way it’s changing. Now it’s becoming common for children in Australia to trick-or-treat. We still have a long way to go before it’s as normal as it is in other countries, such as America, but we have come quite far from when I used to be the only child in the neighbourhood to go trick-or-treating. There’s even a set of rules that are being generally acknowledged by parents, children, and just people living in houses. If you wish to participate and have trick-or-treaters come to your house to give away candy, you just leave your outside light on. So parents will take their children around neighbourhoods, going to houses with their lights on. One day it may even be as common here as it is in the United States.

I don’t go trick-or-treating any more. I’m a bit too old for that now, sadly, and don’t have any children to escort around. Maybe one day I might steal a child from a friend. That’s not to say that Halloween is any less boring as an adult. Now, I can just buy all the candy I want to eat and binge-watch Halloween movies.

Which is, of course, my plan for this Halloween. I have a bunch of friends who I plan to voice call while watching the wonderful world of Halloween movies. The Nightmare Before Christmas, and Hocus Pocus are naturally two of the first movies on our list. Of course we’re also going to be watching some Beeltejuice as well. There are just so many other good Halloween movies out there as well that I don’t know what else to add to our list. Especially since I’m trying to educate a couple of my friends, who haven’t seen some of these movies before. (I know, believe me, I’m just as shocked as you are. Don’t worry though, they have agreed to being educated.) Any particularly important must-see Halloween movie suggestions would be more than welcome.

There are three other things that I’m particularly looking forward to this wonderful spooky month. Firstly, there are Halloween events. I don’t necessarily mean at bars, or places like that. Although if I can find any events like that, I may very well do just that. However, what I am talking about is the wonderful world of gaming events. Okay, so, the one game in particular, although I can hope that other games might also have events. For example, I’m hopeful that the Harry Potter mobile game, Mystery at Hogwarts, might have a Halloween event. Given that it’s still a growing game and mostly in development, I would not be surprised if such an event didn’t happen this year, however they are doing some events for unique skins fairly regularly, so I think my hope may just pay out.

The game I’m particularly looking forward to, however, is Overwatch. Now, I haven’t been playing this game since it came out. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not good at it. I’d like to be, but I’m only a lowly bronze player. (In comp as well as border). Maybe upgrading to a better mouse and keyboard might help with that for me. Or maybe I’ll just find out that no, I’m still horrible at it. Though, my skill level isn’t the point I want to talk about right now. Instead, I want to talk about the Halloween event. I had so much fun last year when playing Junkenstein’s revenge. It was the first special event arcade mode that I played, since I joined at the end of the Anniversary event last year.

Overwatch is great, I’ve been enjoying playing it a lot lately. Although it’s one of those things that’s definitely better with friends. Even better when it has those Player vs Environment events, as opposed to constantly Player vs Player. I’m just going to ignore the whole trend towards Battle Royale that games seem to be going to at the moment due to the popularity of some certain free to play ones, because let’s face it, those modes are undoubtedly my least favourite. The PvE modes, however, Junkenstein’s Revenge, Uprising, and Retribution are some of my favourites. Let’s face it, Overwatch players can get quite salty sometimes, whether you’re playing with them or against them. It doesn’t matter if you’re playing competitive, quick play, or arcade, unless you’re playing with a six stack, you’ll almost inevitably find a teammate who doesn’t co-operate. That’s not to say that you don’t find that in those PvE modes. In fact, sometimes you get players who either disconnect or purposefully leave, which results in a very unbalanced group, since unlike other game modes, there isn’t any back-fill for these PvE games, which are designed for four players to work together.

The game mode isn’t the only thing that’s got me excited. I’m a pretty big fan of some of the skins that already exist in the game, but Halloween skins will always be among my favourite on any game that has such a mechanic. Some of the ones that I got last year during the event are still up there among my most-used skins. The Dragon Symmetra skin, and the Cultist Zenyatta skin in particular are absolutely wonderful. As someone who currently “mains” Moira, I’m naturally hoping and praying for a Goblin Queen Labyrinth-style skin. If not this event, perhaps I’ll be lucky next year.

The second exciting thing about this month is that it’s going to be my last month at university. Now, I’m not going to say forever, at this point. I know myself too well to say that. Maybe one day I’ll go on to do a Masters. For the moment, however, with what I’m currently studying, I am nearly done. This is both exciting and absolutely terrifying for me. Having to go out into the real world as an adult with a degree? What on Earth will I do? It doesn’t help that it’s a Fine Arts degree. I’m just going to be so employable!

The third thing that’s happening this month is connected to the second, and is essentially the main reason I’m writing this whole thing right now in the first place. I’ve just spent the past three years working on a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Creative and Professional Writing. Naturally I want to go on to do something with this. Which is why I’m starting this blog. The blog is just a small part, of course. I’ve also taken steps to become a sole trader, so that I can begin getting paid for writing and editing. It feels like a big step for me, quite possibly because it is. I’m going to be putting myself out there, which hasn’t always ended well for me in the past. Not that such things have always ended horribly for me, but when you have anxiety, you always begin to expect the worst.

So here goes, the first blog for my site, talking about my favourite month, and letting everyone know that Marlee McDougall, writer and editor, is officially open for business.