I had half a post planned out a while ago, which I never ended up finishing. I’ll rework on it one day, because the point of that post was something that I would really love to talk about, and share with people. For the moment though, I feel as though I need to do a bit of a catch up and some planning.
So, I haven’t really posted anything in a while. Over a month. The half written and abandoned post was supposed to explain that I was no longer going to hold myself to the futile “two posts a week” thing that I was failing to do. I was going to try to aim instead for just one a week. Except it didn’t really end up working out that way.
While I would absolutely love to say that I’ve been busy working, and that is partially true. I have been going to work three days a week, which is about as much as I can do at the moment. When I get home, I simply feel really tired, and out of it, and it’s been taking pretty much all I have just to be doing something to try to help myself relax and de-stress after work. I’ve barely even been reading. Already I can pretty much guarantee my goal of reading a hundred books this year is unlikely to happen. I won’t say definitely not, though it’s not looking particularly probable at this point in time. So I’ve been working, and trying to de-stress after work. Unfortunately that means a lot of things have fallen by the wayside, including this blog.
The good news is that I at least have a few things I will start working on after this so that I can have some more posts to go up for the next couple of weeks at least. While I haven’t been reading much, there is a series I hadn’t quite started my review for yet, as well as one that I finished quite recently. On top of that I might branch out into doing more film reviews, as I saw both Battle Angel Alita and Captain Marvel in cinemas and there are definitely some interesting things to unpack from both of those.
In my previous post I mentioned that I’ve been doing a lot better because I have a job, and that wasn’t a lie. I am most definitely doing better than I was. That being said, it doesn’t mean I’m a hundred percent better. Part of me feels bad for only going to work three days a week, instead of five like everyone else. Especially when I know that I could, if I wanted to. I could push myself, and go to work those extra two days. Except it almost feels like those two days off are the only thing keeping me as together as I am at the moment.
Weekends are different. Especially when I find that my weekends lately have been filling up with things to do. Having a day which I can choose to dedicate to just lying in bed and zoning out from the outside world is crucial. It may not be something that many other people require or understand, but I do know that there are others out there who can relate. Others who push themselves to get through days they’re barely coping so they can make it to the day when they don’t have to.
So yes, I’m still doing better. I’m struggling, but doing a lot better than how I was without a job. I have a reason to wake up in the morning. Even though some days may be harder than others. I have money that I can spend on myself, and I’ve been putting money aside in my savings. I’ve been able to buy food that I enjoy eating, as well as books, games, and back projects on kickstarter that I believe in.
Everything takes time. Some people are able to jump into the freezing cold water, or immerse themselves in a steamy tub. Others need to go slowly and let themselves adapt. I just need to focus on adapting and getting comfortable, but I’ll try not to forget to post at least once a week from here on out.